Did any of you know that fuchsia is a color? Its a shade of pink. Its okay; I didnt know this either. Okay, so I apparently misspelled Fuchsias name in my last review and I have been made terribly aware of the fact. Buster read the piece and told me that I should turn on my spell checker. I told him that it was on, but I assumed that it was showing me that her name was misspelled because of it being some exotic name. Buster hurled a dictionary at me while calling me a philistine. (You dont want to know what he said about me after reading my Nobilis review. Art Nouveau is an art style, not a person named Arthur Nouveau. I think that Im often a disappointment to Buster.)
I really hate when he does stuff like that. But I looked it up and as usual, he was indeed right. I would be more embarrassed about it if it wasnt for the fact that Ive been on a date with the lovely raven-tressed lady. More info on the name--from what she told me, her father named her after a character in a book that both he and Sting of the Police really liked. She didnt tell me that her father met Sting, just that Sting is on record for having really liked the book, and that Stings daughter is also named Fuchsia, so there you go. I thought that its pretty darn cool, myself. Anyway, the books Gormanghast by a guy named Peake. Id never heard of it before, which once more got me branded as a philistine by my good friend Buster who told me to read a book sometime, which lead us into an old debate on how the Dragonlance series isnt literature.
Yes, I know that the Dragonlance series isnt literature, but I happen to like them, and it always seems to get Busters goat that I would think of them as such.
Anyway, the date went well. Well, well enough, I suppose. I think that shes great, but I know that once she really gets to know me that shell likely wish that she hadnt. I know, I should keep a positive attitude on the whole thing. Its just from past experience Ive learned that while I may be a fairly likeable guy, there must be something about me that simply wards women away. So far Fuchsia hasnt caught on, and so far I dont want to disabuse her. I havent even told her that I game. Or rather, would game if I had the opportunity. Deacon keeps telling me to relax about the whole thing and that if she likes me that itll work out. Then he told me that if Im lucky that she might end up doing how his brother Stuie mispronounced her name when he read it. Gotta love Deacon. A beacon of hope and a shroud of depravity in one fell swoop.
Okay, so last Saturday morning I drove to Concord, the next town over, to spend my recently acquired bonus money on some new gaming supplies. I could have gone to Montclair Hobbies, but Rigbys Games in Concord is nearly as close and as Ive written before, Id hate to break down in East Montclair. Keeping that in mind, I bring you to witness the fact that at approximately the halfway point between Montclair and Concord, the knocking sound in the Taurus became a horrendous ja-juggita-ja-juggita. I pulled over to the side of the road and turned the engine off. The Taurus shuddered before it died. I tried starting it up again, but it was not use.
I was stuck on the side of the road for four hours during the hotter part of the day, counting the number of cars that drove by. I got to six before Robert Collywood, a guy I went to high school with pulled over and called a tow truck on his cell. So if youre reading this, Rob, major thanks for being a stand up guy. Id tell you what was wrong with the Taurus, but I honestly cant remember, and I cant find the receipt which I know I set on my desk. It was, fortunately, something apparently fairly minor, if you consider three hundred and fifty-four dollars and sixty-three cents minor. As a result, I watched my thoughts of new gaming books go right out the window, especially since I was to have my date with Fuchsia the next night.
I went to Rigbys anyway, figuring that I wasnt going to consider the day a bust and at least Id be able to look around at books in peace. While I was there, I found a game that I figured that I had to pick up, one that was well within my budget.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Cheapass Games Devil Bunny Needs a Ham. Its actually a board game, where the publisher provides you with two pieces of cardboard that make up the game board, a piece of cardboard with the games instructions and a smaller piece of the same cardboard that is supposed to represent the Devil Bunny. You have to supply the game pieces and the dice. It is thus that the publisher lives up to the name.
Its a fairly simple game, one that can turn at any moment. The premise is that youve got a team of sous-chefs who are climbing the outside of a building. Devil Bunny needs a ham and he thinks that by knocking you off, hell get the ham. Basically, you roll the dice and whenever a die comes up six, Devil Bunny pounces on the highest climber, knocking him or her off of the building. There is a chance that the climber will land, die or be caught by another climber. Assumedly the death of a player doesnt supply Devil Bunny with his much-needed ham, as he continues to do this until youve either made it to safety or lost all of your sous-chefs.
Overall, its an amusing game, although I could tell that Deacon was getting pissed when we played it because we both kept rolling sixes like they were going out of style, and it almost always happened when he was above the line of death that determines whether or not the fall kills you. For the low price of the three dollars and twenty-five cents, you get a fairly decent, if not simple game. If it wasnt so cheap, Id give it three nuts, but the low, low price inspires me to give it one more nut, just for the hell of it.