Clarification

A couple of points that occur to me.

1.) There is a strong chance that I might write something that you don't want to read. Like I wrote before, this is therapy. For all intents and purposes, this will be my journal. This means that there will be thoughts, feelings and ideas that I may put into it that aren't going to be pleasing to everyone. I can't help that -- it's the way life works. Further, I'm going to try to keep as much of my writing pure with as little editing as possible. So from time to time you'll get later draft stuff, but for the most part it'll be first draft. Those things that I feel that I should keep privately I will. (I just have to figure that out first.) I won't always choose the right things.

In essence, by reading this blog, you take the chance that I will offend or upset you. If you can't accept that, then you should stop reading this blog now.

2.) Why Blogger? I chose Blogger because it felt better. It's very specifically for the purposes of keeping a blog. It will publish the blog to my website, which allows me to put more focus on something that I've let go fallow for some time. I know that I have a Myspace account and that there are those of you who would be more likely to read it there. That's not the point. Myspace has never felt completely comfortable to me. It feels too forced, too chummy, too focused on collecting friends when it should be focused on connecting to friends. I can see the point of it as a tool, but it's not the tool that I want to use. Not for this.

There's also flexibility. Myspace, due to it's nature, isn't always available from every internet connection. Blogger tends to be more available at the moment. That's key.

Recovering from Silence

It seems to me that I've spent a good part of the last few years silencing my voice. There was a time, far too long ago it seems, when I could express myself coherently. I haven't been able to do that in a while. It's become jumbled and confused and none of it is really what I want to say or how I want to say it. My social skills have deteriorated. I've become an echo of my former self.

Recent events have forced me to reevaluate the directions I've taken in life. I've come to realize that I can't afford to continue entrenching myself in the emotional and physical rut in which I find myself.

This is therapy. Let's hope that it works. I'm tired of the silence. I'm tired of being terrified to speak or write the things that are on my mind. So it's here. I'm sharing myself with . . . well, with you. Just don't forget that I'm doing this for me, to help make me better. To help make me a better person, whether I do it the right way or the wrong way. I hope that it's the right way. I know that it's just as likely going to be the wrong way. Keep that in mind as you read this.

After all, I'm only human.